>AOL's Year 2000 Program

Is to ignore it until it goes away.

                    > Below you will find information related to AOL's Year 2000 program and the actions
                     >AOL is taking to further our goal of ensuring a minimal impact on our members and
                     >business partners from issues related to Year 2000.
The biggest problem is that our members will probably not be able to understand a number as large as 2000, and therefore panic and think it is 1900.
>AOL is confident that both actions we are taking and the way in which we're approaching the issues related to the Year 2000 will position us to effectively deal with the complexities of Year 2000 compliance.
Yep, it is so complex to go in, slap a BIOS patch on ol' Stratus and reboot...
                     >In two important ways, AOL is already well positioned and prepared to deal with
                     >Year 2000.
First, we shut down AOL while we work on this problem, and second, we come out with AOL '00 and charge our members 5 dollars extra for Y2K safe surfing...
                         >First and foremost, as we continue to build AOL's infrastructure and add new
                         >components,
We just bought out Hayes' inventory of 2400 baud modems, and they gave us the acoustic couplers for free!
                         >Year 2000 issues will remain a priority.
It will be shuffled from desk to desk with the utmost speed!
                         >The Year 2000 Task Force is undertaking its assessment of the Company's
                         >compliance and has begun testing the AOL corporate business and
                         >information systems.
The 486 based systems are fine, but the 8086 "Business Backbone" is still being tested...
                     >Additionally;

                         >The AOL host system is scheduled to begin testing in November 1998, and
                         >the AOL Operations Group is scheduled to begin testing in late January 1999.

But you know, deadlines get pushed back, things don't come out right, and there will probably be a 12 month delay...but the year 2000 is still 2 years from now, right? Right?
                         >The international portions of the AOL service are in the early stages of their
                         >audits.
Hehehe, I guess we can ignore them if they don't speak engligh...heh...who can they talk to!
                         >However, these services utilize the same AOL infrastructure, so it is
                         >anticipated that additional costs of compliance for the international services
                         >will be immaterial.
But don't worry, any extra costs can be covered by a nominal service charge...
                         >AOL believes that addressing the Year 2000 issue is an integral part of
                         >providing the best possible online experience for our members and business
                         >partners, which has always been our number one priority.
Well, number one after we hunt down those evil 13 year old "HaXoR D00dz" that say "Breast" in chat rooms while the kiddie porn perverts lurk in Kids Only...
                         >AOL is in the process of asking its vendors, joint venture partners and content
                         >partners about their progress in identifying and addressing problems that their
                         >computer systems may face in correctly processing date information related
                         >to the Year 2000.
When it was found out that the only problem was in OUR systems, we threw out any data from our partners...it must be wrong!
                         >The Company intends to continue its efforts to monitor the
                         >Year 2000 compliance of vendors, joint venture partners.

                     >Year 2000 Frequently Asked Questions

Duh...uh...Why is it called the Year '2000'?
                     >Q: Is AOL worried that the Year 2000 problem will cause problems for its members
                     >and business partners?
No! As long as they send in their 22 dollars a month...KA-CHINK!
                     >A: While we are mindful of the challenges presented by Year 2000 compliance, we
                     >are confident AOL has the resources and the expertise to deal with the potential
                     >issues
Much like their winning battle with busy signals and porno freaks in kids chat rooms!
                     >and to maintain and improve the AOL member experience throughout that
                     >process.

                     >Q: When did AOL begin addressing the Year 2000 issue?

                     >A: AOL began the process of auditing its systems in 1997 and is completing the
                     >inventory/analysis phase of this audit. We continue to keep Year 2000 compliance
                     >in mind with newly installed components.

Ah...nothing funny to say about that...I'm lame!
                     >Q: Is AOL concerned that its systems and service will be damaged by Year 2000
                     >problems?
Nope, because our systems consist of Compaq Deskpro Model 1's that don't have a Real Time Clock, so there's no worry of damage!


                     >A: AOL has a number of computer software programs and operating systems
                     >across its entire network that are being reviewed for Year 2000 compliance in light
                     >of our ongoing audit.

Altiar BASIC is currently being checked, and next is MS-DOS 1.13
                     >To the extent some of these systems will require modification
                     >or replacement, we are confident that AOL is prepared to address the issue in a
                     >timely manner. Our number one priority throughout this process will be continuing to
                     >maintain and improve the quality of our members' online experience.

                     >Q: When will the Year 2000 audit be complete?

2004, is that a problem?
                     >A: In 1997, AOL formed an internal Year 2000 Task Force to address this issue.
Yeah, that's been established!
                     >The Task Force identifies applications and/or systems that are not yet Year 2000
                     >compliant and develops plans to achieve compliance in those areas.
Score two points for AOL, see them squirm around the date issue? Sad thing is that most AOL users won't notice...
                     >Additionally, AOL is also working closely with its vendors, JV partners, and content
                     >partners to gauge their progress in identifying and addressing Year 2000 concerns
                     >within their own systems.
Our other content providers are done...
                     >Our Year 2000 project will remain ongoing until we are entirely confident that the
                     >millennium date change will not result in any significant interruption in critical
                     >services or negatively impact our members online experience in any material way.
In other words, we're going to put it off until December 31, 1999 to 'see' if it really will effect us...

January 24, 1999 All original text is copyrighted by the author. All Inserted Text (You Know Who You Are) Is (C)1999 By Matt Jolley
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