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Why Hewlett Packard Sucks -
A Slanted, Jaded Article by Matt Jolley
So you walk into your Wal-Mart, CompUSA, Staples, OfficeMaxDepot, or whatever, looking for a good printer. Oh look, Hewlett-Packard has managed to buy half of the floorspace! Look at those pretty endcaps and demo printers...and those prices! You whip out your credit card and walk home with one of HP's venerable DeskJet series printers. You set it up, and oooh and ahhh over the print speed and color. 3 months pass. Time for a new set of print cartridges! You go back down to your Wal-OfficeMaxDepot, and look at the "Printer Supplies" asile. You note the el cheapo Epson Cartridges...they are fairly cheap, a color BubbleJet "wax" bar for around 15 to 20 dollars. HP can't be that worse then Epson, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oooh, what do we have here? 28 Dollars for a puny Black Cartridge, KA-CHINK! Nearly 35 for a Color? KA-CHINK! Oh my, and you have to get BOTH since they ran out at the same time. You don't even look at the "Photo" Cartridge, which is pushing 40 bucks. Looks like HP has you by the cajones, and they arn't letting you go. Gee, guess you know why HP printers are so cheap now....They nail you to the wall with the consumables! HP is the only game in town when it comes to cartridges so they can do whatever they want! Isn't it cool?!
You blow around 65 dollars so you can make pretty pictures come out of that chunk of cheaply made plastic on your floor. What's this? Weird streaks are appearing on your paper! You go to call...eh...$2.50 an hour? For TECH SUPPORT? You decide to go online and find a helpful HP rep. that blames it on the print cartridge you paid so much for. You go out and...guess what...you can't return opened electronics items! WOW! You're out ANOTHER 30 dollars! You pop it in and...after about 10 print jobs, the streaks re-appear. Hmmmm....You buckle and decide to send it to HP for a warranty repair. It comes back saying it was "cleaned." Those streaks never left, although HP said they never appeared when they tested it. You manage to ward off the streaks by taking about 10 Q-Tips and with some rubbing alcohol and a little love, you swab off the entire bottom of the "print carraige" and the print heads on the cartridges. You do this every week. Gee, this wasn't on the nice endcap display at Comp-Wal-OfficeDepotMax now was it? Now the printer is aging, with a crack in the flimsy paper tray, and a discoloring plastic "hood." The thing guzzles so much ink, you think it should come with a sticker just like cars do with "Gallons per page" rates. But you're stuck with your printer, because like most people, you work and cannot afford a new printer just because you were stupid and made an awful choice. Welcome to the 7th level of hell buddy, home of Hewlett Packard and Packard Bell customers, may I take your coat?
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This story was compiled from my experiences with HP, along with accounts on other HP "Sucks" pages. While I use a lot of sarcasam, I must make the point clear that you Need To Stay Away From Hewlett-Packard At All Costs! For the love of god, DON'T BUY IT! That printer may be cheap, but you WILL be screwed in the long run! Go get an Epson! Don't make the same mistake I did! Well, gotta go perform the weekly cleaning ritutal to apease the HP gods.April 6, 1999 All Text (You Know Who You Are) Is (C)1999 By Matt Jolley
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