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Parody of Meg’s October 26, 1997 Insider Report
>Let AOL Remind You!
That it is wasting your money and killing your brain cells!
>You know, I was flipping through my day-planner the other day... meeting... meeting... meeting... Mom's birthday... >meeting. Wait! What was that? Mom's birthday??? If I hadn't remembered to jot it down months ago, it certainly >would have been lost in the wash of meetings, and then I would have been, as they say, up the creek without that >proverbial paddle.
Of couse it wasn't forgotten, but I'm still going to bore you all with another lame "update!"
>With the hectic pace of life today, it's far too easy to forget special occasions.
Such as trading “super leet warez” with my hacker d00d friends
>Wouldn't it be nice if someone could remind us of birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions?
I have something that does. It's called a to-do list, and even windows 3.1 came with one.
>Well, now that's possible. Let America Online's Free Reminder Service give you a friendly "heads up" when the >special day nears.
Great, they put one problem and moved it. I can see it now. “Oh sorry mom! DateTrk4532 forgot to tell me about your birthday…….By the way, GiftBoyz4574 suggested I get you a AOL visa….
>To register for your Free Reminder Service, go to keyword: GERBILS. Click on the REGISTER YOUR AND EDIT >YOUR REMINDERS HERE button and fill out the short form.
After you give 5 quarts of blood and 50 dollars, AOL will remind you once by the form of a pop up visa/gift ad.
>(it asks for your name, the gift recipients' name(s), the type of occasion, the date to remember).
It also asks for your recipients address and telephone number—after all, what gift could be better then the gift of AOL disks?
>Click on the SEND button when you've put in all the necessary info.
and pray to god the e-mail gets there before the event happens!
>Ten days before each important date you entered, AOL will e-mail you a brief reminder of the upcoming occasion. >That way you'll have plenty of time to find the right card or gift.
Of course, you could just send them AOL disks! Then mail Meg all the pics of your recipient beating the crap out of you! Meg likes that stuff…Meg also likes pain and blood…..
>So throw that calendar away!
AOL now owns your life! Burn the calendar with your wallet, you wont be needing THAT anymore! MUHAHAHAHAHA
>No. Wait. Pull it back out. Dust it off. Keep it for meetings and all that dreary stuff.
Pull it back out and buy the AOL calendar! It's only 19.95 per month and 2.95 for every date you mark……
>Let the Free Reminder tell you about the exciting bits.
Like meetings with the kiddie porn dealer in private room “Bobo”
>Meg signing off...
Going to go get some porn aren't ya meg?! I've seen you in Kids Only Rooms…. MegINSDER going private with all those little boys…what ARE you doing meg?!