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Parody of Meg’s Self-Description Found in the AOL Insider Area.
>Here on the third floor of headquarters I'm known as "Prairie Dog,"
Due To my uncontrollable slobbering and my attachment to milkbone treats….
>but my real name is Meg Booker. My mission?
To annoy the crap out of you in my endless blubbering senseless “updates”
>To keep you in the know. I spend my days hunkered down over my keyboard, giving you the inside scoop on making >the most of your online experience.
My first suggestions about how nazis and skinheads were O.K. didn’t go over well, so AOL brow beat me and brainwashed me….I love AOL…AOL is good….Master Case, time for my bubble bath….
>It's a cool job. It better be. I invented it. ;) You see, I kept popping up above my cubicle (a practice known as >prairie-dogging...hence the nickname) brimming over with AOL tips and inside info about navigating the service.
Nobody cared, because all of the people used Netcom, and all my tips were things the typical AOL user knew about. Finally someone tried to kill me by putting rat poison in my coffee and disconnecting the brake cables on my car….
>One day the big kahunas here at AOL made me sit, stay, and write it all down.
Weather I wanted to or not…
>Tada! The Insider was born.
Much to our utter shock and dismay....
>Well, then, who is Meg? I was born and raised in Spokane
after several attempts by my loving father to kill me by drowning me, beating me, etc.
>(considered by millions to be the cultural Mecca of the Northwest) and received my BA in Journalism from the >University of Oregon.
They really didn’t want to give it to me, but I kept whining and finally I broke into the dean’s office and held him at gunpoint until I got one…but that doesn’t matter…
>Since deciding that anchoring the 5:00 news wasn't really for me, I've worked many jobs...from bartending to >CD-ROM production to public relations.
From Stripping to Prostitution, From Wal-Mart to K-Mart
>I dropped out of Boston University grad school to take a job here at AOL
Oh my god…Meg really is out of her mind....DROP OUT OF COLLEGE FOR....AOL?!
>(yes, Mom, I'm gonna complete that degree). I have an affinity for weird pets (one leopard gecko, two hermit crabs, one newt, two wild toads, and a Great Dane the size of a station wagon)
Ah Meg, you’re a big dog person…eheh….I bet you have a “Fetish” for your weird pets, don’t’cha. Yep…
>and have never been able to keep a plant alive for more than a month.
So you can imagine how I take care of my body!!!!
>But the most important thing for you is that I've been an AOL aficionado for a long time (around three decades if >you're counting in Internet years....), which is the reason I'm here: I know a lot about AOL.
Of course, a 11 year old can learn everything about AOL in a week, and even tell you where all the pedophiles hang out...
>So whenever you see me online, I'll be showing you how to do things with AOL that matter in your real life -- things >that save you time, get you connected, and help you get answers.
Things that matter in the typical AOLers life Meg? You mean “How to save time downloading nudies, How to get connected with 12 year olds In the Kid Connection, and how to get tough answers for aolers like “What is pi” and “If bob is downloading kiddie pics at 28.8 BPS in New York, and Marv is Sending him a Steaming IM at 14.4 BPS in Kentucky, what will finish first, Bob’s Download, or Marv’s hot IM?
>And although I'd like to think I'm a one-of-a-kind, no one can do it like she can, Buckaroo Banzai type, the reality >is...I'm probably a lot like you.
You mean Meg is a porno crazed pimply-faced teen that pretends she is of the opposite sex and +/- 10 years Older/Younger then she really is? You mean she is a k-rad super leet d00d!? W0W! (Just like the rest of AOL!)
>And the answers I've found to help me online will hopefully help you, too. >:) Now close this window
Or Meg will have to slap ya
>or click here (Keyword: Sweaty Palms) if you'd like to go back to tips....
Ah Meg, you never cease to amaze me